I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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