I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize