I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
