So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
