do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
