Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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