She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
