so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
