i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
