so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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