I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
