his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
