and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
