This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
being pregnant is like rehab
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
