The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
