Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
