the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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