Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
