eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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