I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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