Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
