I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
