I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize