This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
