reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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