so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize