she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
