Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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