I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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