I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
