What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
