It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
