some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
