biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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