I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize