worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
