I am puke
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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