Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Jerry, you need to find god
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
