It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
