Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
