He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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