I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
