Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize