do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
