put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
