so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You took a bar mat shot.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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