but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
