Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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