I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
