are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
