You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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