I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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