I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
