you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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