if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
