Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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