He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
