So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This is the high leading the old right now
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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