you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
