we made out on top of his cat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
